Why Do We Stay?

A relaionship is supposed to be a safe place. It is supposed to be a place you can run to.  A partner is expected to give you comfort, stand by you, hold your hand and basically be your home; a person you can confide in. 

A healthy relationship should be a 50/50 situation. As much as most people differ to the thought of it when it comes to finance where the man is mostly the primary provider and the lady is thought to be incharge of house chores, a shared relationship tends to last longer. 

Make your relation work by allowing your partner to feel safe with you. By safety, it means that they do not only tell you of the good things but also the bad thing. In most relationships, partners tend to keep negativities to themselves to avoid 'ruining the mood'  or judgements. 

A toxic relationship is when one feels or becomes the subject to the other. People will normally flaunt about being in a toxic relationship, claiming that  they get each other best in their toxic states. 

The start of a toxic relationship is always unnoticable. It starts with small quarrels over small issues. The fights get intense which at times leads to physical fights leading to major disasters such as suicide and murder. 

In other instances, trust issues start among the couple start kicking in. This starts with questioning little things your partner does or having doubt in whatever they say or do. Some even go as far as dictating who you can or can not associate with. 

Regardless of all these red flags, some still choose to stay. Mostly, because they have invested so much time in the relationship and in other circumstances, they are clinging onto the person they 'think' they know. 

As much as toxic traits are faulted to only one person, in very few circumstances do people discuss times when you made your spouse become toxic. For instance, the two of you come to an agreement of not being out until late hours but you still did. Such actions causes insecurities which bears toxic traits.

Most people who stay in toxic relationships hold on to the thought that they could change their partners to a better version of who they are. Something to note, they changed themselves and it is never your responsibility to turn them around. Someone will always act right when they want to.

As soon as you notice such behaviour change from your partner, the first thing to consider is to talk things through. If it does not work out, look for a third ear and if they react negatively of leaking your personal issues, then you can move. A person who is sorry will be ready to change things through talks or mediators when the issues have gone out of hand.